I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize