Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just cropdusted the office
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
