I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
