it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Oh god it's open bar.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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