guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
