I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
