I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
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i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
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The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"