No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
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You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
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Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."