She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's rum buckets o'clock
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
