i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
