I didn't shave. On purpose
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
