Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
