Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
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Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
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And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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