So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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