She's JV to your varsity
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
