Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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