a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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