just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize