Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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