He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
