I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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