wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
