my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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