i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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