I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
