Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
