I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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