he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
