Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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