You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
