Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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