i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
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Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
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That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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