May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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