i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize