Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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