Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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