i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
