I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We talked him into tasing himself.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
