He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize