Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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