It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
