the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
