I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
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Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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