I want to stick my p in your. b.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
