I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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