i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
