my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Less talking, more tequila
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
