maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
