I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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