Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
