i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
