five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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