Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
