Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Randomize