i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
