It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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