State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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