i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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