If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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