Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
