so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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