okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
