Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
