I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
