fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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