In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So vagazzling was a success
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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