break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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