This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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