jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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