Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
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