my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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